Old men chewing gum naked

*Edit* I forgot to mention that of the first 6 over 60 yr old males I saw this morning, they were all shirtless. I'm not in favor of other shirtless ages or genders, but the post was directed to this group specifically. Thank you. :-)*END EDIT*

Ok, it's time. Gum chewers of the world unite. Everyone come together and SPIT OUT YOUR BLASTED GUM. Am I a gum chewer? Yes. But I don't keep it longer than the sociable 20 minutes. Once the breath'saving'ness is gone, the gum has no more purpose anyway, right? WRONG! You can annoy the hang out of any perfectly sane human in a second by making those HIDEOUS popping sounds one after another. You may as well be chewing on firecrackers. Don't even try to talk intelligently to me through your wad, sloshing it around like a common bovine. If you are going to talk with something in your mouth, learn to do it without making it SEEM like you have something in your mouth. I know, not everyone is blessed with as big a mouth as me, but hey, chew it, swallow it, or spit it out, but don't talk or breathe through it. Gum is one of the etiquette curses of our day. Etiquette curse number two- going naked in public. What the hang? Do you have abs to show off? Kudos to you, but if they ain't for sale, don't advertise. If they ARE for sale, I'm not buying, don't advertise! But you DON'T have abs, and they CLEARLY aren't for sale, what are you doing you poor delusional old salt? You must be saving your life by going shirtless. Too bad you look like a greasy old whale. Am I being harsh. Indubitably. But seeing such a sight is equally harsh- glares on the sensitive eyes if you know what I'm sayin'.

So, people, fix it. Be nice to me and every other schmoe you meet.

There's my two cents (remember, I am a millionaire ;).

~ET